I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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