So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
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If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
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So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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