wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize