; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize