I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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