never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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