your room smells of hookers.
And success
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
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