Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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