Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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