I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize