I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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