I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In America we eat man semen.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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