life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
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I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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