bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Randomize