Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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