HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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