This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
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make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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