And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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