I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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