We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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