While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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