They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
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WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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