Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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