is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize