Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
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One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
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He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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