Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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