her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
worst night to have a conscience
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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