What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Non-Jews are for practice
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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