wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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