Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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