There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize