I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
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I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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