shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
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he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
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I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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