how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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