He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
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And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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