If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize