grandma shit on top of the toilet
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
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