so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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