therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize