i permit you to call me
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize