I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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