saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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