I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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