I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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