AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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