I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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