bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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