he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
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Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
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Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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