you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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