ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There's always time for handjobs
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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